THE BREAKING ROOM
One of the hardest parts about being a father is knowing-no, feeling-your family likes you less because you’re holding them to a standard they want you to let go of. And when you’re not the friend to them that their mother is, they use distance the way people use cover when they think an enemy is nearby.
They’ll never say it. They won’t need to.
The evidence is louder than that one time when the disobedience, which they never believe is disrespect, almost turned the living room into a boxing ring.
But since you practice the mystical martial arts of calm fatherhood, you absorb tension, so it doesn’t become violence.
You watch patterns instead of reacting to moments. You shadow behavior, adjust angles, slow the room down.
You do everything you can to help them see the writing on the wall without having to read it later being written in blood.
Here are some remedies to remember and help keep you from breaking up your family.
Understanding that your children are figuring out their relationship with discipline.
Correcting your temperature and attitude before entering the room.
Leaving space where an argument would've lived
Music I’m Listening To
Streetlights by JasonMartin ft. Jeremih.
Book I’m Reading
You Deserve To Be Rich by Rashad Bilal and Troy Millings.
Final Word
Repair doesn’t come with guarantees. Effort doesn’t entitle access. And restraint is the work nobody claps for.
To all the fathers wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is simple: Just don’t pull out.
Til’ Love Do us Part
It’s all loddi-doddi until your pussy leaves the party. Not always literal, but when cooking gets substituted for the nookie, you go hungry in ways you thought were too ancient to touch.
That’s how it feels when proposed exotic looks fall dead. Sexy jokes don’t land. Touches make them tense. And you’re left stiff, feeling like a dick instead of feeling on the body it’s supposed to be inside of.
So you stop reaching for her like she owes you proof of forgiveness. And everything once natural feels like hesitation, like not giving enough.
You thought you had it laid out, with resolutions testing her resolve, the gentlest way. A brush against skin. A compliment. But none of it opens anything.
She doesn’t lean in. She waits.
You try to be safe, but now she keeps you in the danger zone, lower than a friend, feeding doubt.
You keep trying to fix what you broke without words hammering a mind and heart that healed hard.
And if she softens, you let it feel familiar, so love and attraction can stop being strangers.
Music I’m Enjoying
OutKast- ATLiens.
Book I’m (Still Reading)
You Deserve to Be Rich by Rashad Bilal & Troy Millings
Final Word
Repair doesn’t come with guarantees.
Effort doesn’t entitle access.
Act out of love, not attention.
To all the fathers wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is: Just don’t pull out.
The Difference Between Living and…
Innocent as smoke - the aroma noses love. Strangers sniff and follow. The scent can be sour, even burn, adding an impulse we learn to crave.
Regret holds sense hostage because we’re scared to be free. A prayer making up strength, so we temporarily don’t feel the weakness. Light shapes you different when you stop hiding.
Facing the life we brought into this world brings weight we didn’t ask for but carry anyway.
It seizes. What more proof do you need?
Chaos. Family. Neighbors. Leaders neglecting to respect life.
Biting the hands that feed us, then spitting angry greed.
We keep asking for and seeking a new fantasy to make up happiness.
You ever wish you could pause time - to hold and play longer while it’s good - because nobody you’re with really tries to keep living that way? The good never feels designed to last.
As an occupation, I conduct check-ins and ask assessment questions various ways, a bunch of times. The kind designed to pry into your darkness.
There are questions about suicidal thoughts - ideation is the clinical term - and then there’s the blunt version: have you ever tried to kill yourself?
Over the holidays, when all my kids were under the same roof - getting along for the most part, annoying the shit out of each other in ways loving siblings always do - I had ideations about whether freezing time and memories would be a way to keep that moment.
But that’s not really living.
Freezing is just fear dressed up as preservation.
I decided to keep going - not out of guilt, not out of obligation - but because my kids always want something that requires taking my time and giving it to them. Presence. Attention. Energy. Living.
And I still have much, much more to give before it’s naturally up.
That’s the difference between living and freezing.
Music I’m Enjoying
Beauty And The Beast by Kanye West
Book I’m Still Reading
You Deserve to Be Rich by Rashad Bilal and Troy Millings
Dad Joke
what’s better than a rose on a piano?
tulips on my organ.
To all the fathers wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!
Safe To Talk
art from Pin on Ilustración de araña
I’m not even sure “safe” is the right word. Because some people hear safe and think weak. Or worse, available to be tested.
People who push limits want to see if they have any with you. And that can push you over the edge. And when your words come out behind a snarl, the kind you see in movies right before someone gets slashed, people think you're unstable.
So, stop trying to be safe. Be useful. State your peace from the start.
Make yourself a useful listener. Try being curious instead of worrying about being safe. It may make you dangerously annoying, but it shows you are always present and willing to talk, listen, and understand. That makes you the safest man to be around.
Why This Matters
Most men think being heard means being louder, sharper, more convincing. It usually just makes people brace for distance.
Curiosity without being nosey welcomes them back, like saving a seat without asking where they’ve been.
Being safe to talk to is not about being harmless. It is about being steady. And it helps you stay dangerous.
Book I’m Reading
Project 2025
Music I’m Listening To
Eric B & Rakim Know the Ledge
Dad Joke
Why don’t I raise my voice anymore?
Because I already know how loud regret sounds.
To all the fathers wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is simple: Just don’t pull out.
T’was The Night Before Christmas was almost cancelled
T'was the night when Christmas was almost cancelled.
Working. Hustling. For future smiles to reward your stress.
Free from another twelve hours of showing workers tools, letting them know you ain’t the one to be played with.
You finally make it home. Safe.
Only to face a psyche-cracked-behavior unwrapped.
Thinking every second should be filled-from a life built on gifts.
Taking laziness for granted.
Using the privilege of a middle child. Babied. Pampered. Wilding out in the safety of a glass house.
Breaking bonds. Breaking trust. Breaking respect.
Until Black Santa wants to whip a child and end up north.
It takes strength. Ice veins.
To hold cold-blooded anger. To keep it from burning up your gifts.
To prove there ain’t no man badder than him.
Music I’m Enjoying
Your Old Droog -Yod Serlin EP
Book I’m (Still Reading)
You Deserve to Be Rich by Rashad Bilal & Troy Millings
Dad Joke
“Why did Santa get kicked out of the bakery? Because he kept checking his list twice… and the buns weren’t the only things he was admiring.”
Final Word
Fatherhood will test the parts of you nobody else sees. The patience. The restraint. The moments where power means not using it.
To all the fathers wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is simple: Just don’t pull out.
See you next week.
FATHERHOOD STATE OF MIND
Nobody tells fathers this part. That loving your child can feel like watching your heart learn how to carry more weight, ache, worry, and wish for all the riches and squalor under the sun. All to keep life and love alive.
The love of deep conversation feels like a root being torn up. A mess. Messages to be deciphered. Limits pushed past comfort.
Between you and me, time is always serious. I don’t have any to waste. Make plenty of time to play. Just don’t play with me.
I watch you sometimes while you sleep, just to see your strength. Quiet strength still counts. The hardest part isn’t protecting you. It’s making you believe you have what it takes.
And never mind myself. When you’re unhappy, when life doesn’t feel right, it haunts me like a last breath I couldn’t help.
I want you better than me. Just don’t treat me like you already are.
Don’t leave. Don’t blow me off.
All I can say is this. I know how you feel. And it’s okay. Because I’m the same way. Lost and found at different times.
Our connection won’t always be strong. But I’ll always be there. Even when you don’t feel it.
Father to Father
If no one has said this to you lately, let me.
You’re not weak because you care this deeply. You’re not failing because you can’t fix everything. And you’re not distant just because your child doesn’t always know how to reach you.
Fatherhood isn’t about having answers. It’s about staying present when the questions get uncomfortable.
Your kids don’t need perfection. They need consistency.
Show up tired. Show up unsure. Just show up.
Effort lands deeper than silence ever will.
Music I’m Enjoying
YFN Lucci "ALREADY LEGEND"
Book I’m Still Reading
You Deserve to Be Rich by Rashad Bilal and Troy Millings Not just about money.
Dad Joke
I don’t pull out wisdom for free anymore. That’s how I ended up a dad in the first place.
Final Word
To all the fathers wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is simple. Just don’t pull out.
Emotional Junkie
When the holiday high doesn’t last as long as the come down.
Moving like a functioning addict. Dabbling in mastering a lifestyle of bad habits that put you in a good mood, even while you think of every way to ruin who you love and crawl back to what you lost - your mind. Mental for a god that influenzas the sin, turning your body against the love meant for you.
Confusion in your head runs like the vein you shot dead with arrogance, thinking you were too good to stop or too strong to get help.
Get it together, or your presents will come wrapped in regret. Enough to get your heart pumping fast again so you can track the pain, tell yourself change is pointless, and bleed from old mistakes just to prove it.
You remember when mom’s said, “baby chase your dreams”, but you boxed yourself in like people who function by chasing dead ends.
This is the time of year when cycles come back louder. When you think of who you might have been, what you could be, and why you’re facing another year of the same. How getting older is supposed to mean maturing. How it should mean getting and keeping love close instead of feeding the habits that keep you needy and lost.
Notes to Overcome the Holiday Blues
Pay attention to the parts of you that get loud this season.
The holidays press on the old bruises. They bring up thoughts you thought you outgrew. Don’t rush past them. Don’t silence them. Let them tell you where you still need care, discipline, or forgiveness. A father grows when he finally learns to hear himself clearly.
Stop gifting yourself sorrow you didn’t earn.
Some of us wrap sadness and pain in tradition and give it to ourselves like a family heirloom. You owe yourself a better type of loyalty. You don’t have to choose the pain you outgrew.
Keep love close enough to reach you.
We disappear when we hurt and call it strength. But isolation doesn’t heal fathers. Let the people who care get close. Receive the love that wants to stay. Let this season be the first where you don’t run from what’s trying to hold you up.
Music I’m Enjoying
Light Years by Nas and DJ Premier
Book I’m Reading
You Deserve to Be Rich by Rashad Bilal and Troy Millings
Dad Joke of the Week
Why did he love the holiday lights so much?
Because it was the only time something finished early, and nobody complained.
To all the fathers wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS My advice is simple:
Just don't pull out.
Philosophy Vs Hypocrisy
The Truth We Avoid
Most people love philosophy because it lets them sound wise. But real wisdom is measured in moments where your ego wants revenge, your pride wants to win, and your patience is strengthened by hurting people you don't belong with.
I’m a hypocrite every day I don’t set my frustrations aside and sit with my family and show they are the pride and joy of my life. I’m a hypocrite every time I give strangers my ear, my mind, and my patience to abuse until they are satisfied.
Look at: your moves and realize each one get's you close enough to forever.
Every word. Every reaction. Every moment you choose ego over letting go of things that don't matter, so you can sit alone and be right in your deceitful, angry thoughts.
That one extra smart-ass quip you just have to get off your chest, so people know you ain’t no punk. It's the reason your family moves like criminals around you.
Before your know-it-all attitude gets exposed, turn that “someday I will sit down and hear them out, or learn how to communicate with silence that doesn’t shut them out” into today.
The Behaviors That Break Us
We hide behind deep quotes. We cling to behaviors that cut the deepest ties to the people we swear we never wanted to lose. And we get mad when their imperfections don’t hide ours.
That is how a father’s empire collapses. Not from enemies. Not from strangers. But from distance inside the home.
We hate looking at how we actually behave. But we love saying how life should be as long as it feels worthy of attention. That’s the new currency.
One of the circles of life is: Your behavior reveals your intention, and your intention shapes your behavior. When you're a hypocrite, your family sees one version of you and feels another. Seeing may help them believe in the moment, but feeling guides the future.
You can’t hide what is right in front of your face unless everyone around you benefits from the facade. And the people who love you never benefit from your lies. They pay for them with life.
Philosophy is who you say you are. Hypocrisy is who you show you are.
The Lesson Every Father Learns Eventually
Philosophy without practice is entertainment. Hypocrisy without accountability is destruction. Fatherhood without self-examination and accountability ends families.
Your family sees the truth you avoid. Your kids feel the gaps you ignore. And your legacy is shaped by the behaviors you repeat, not the wisdom you quote.
Music I’m Enjoying
“?” — OutKast (from the Stankonia album)
Book I Recommend
“Letters to the Sons of Society” — Shaka Senghor
Dad Joke
Why do women love philosophers?
Because they always go deep.
Fatherhood Sign-Off
To all the fathers wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is: Just Don’t Pull Out!
See you next week, gentlemen. Keep building the version of yourself your family will always respect.
The Roles We Play
Truth: Every family carries scars, but the strongest men learn to stop bleeding on the people they love.
The Roles
Everybody's recovering from something. In every family you got killers, healers, survivors, dealers, victims, beaters, heroes, cheats, honest ones, thief addicts, part timers, and full. The sober ones know they play every role. Special memories make you revisit each one.
The Mirror
Feel the life of that old fool. Villian you play well enough for everyone to know. Trapped on moments of severe depression, regret, loss, shame, unsure if you want to break out and face another rebirth.
The Choice
Then you remember your kids dont care to know the monster you were. Retract your claws. Kiss instead of bite. Talk instead of bark, never tuck your tail tho, weak men don't farewell.
The Warning
The world can't afford more cowards.
Insight
Because who you were isn’t half as powerful as who your kids are watching you become.
Takeaway
Every role you’ve ever played becomes fuel or poison. Choose the fuel.
Reflection Question
Which version of yourself are you teaching your kids to remember?
Music I’m Enjoying
Dom Kennedy (The Original Dom Kenney)
Books I’m Listening To
Jonathan Livingston-Seagull (narrated by Richard Harris)
Dad Joke
What does a man want his lady's favorite breakfast to be?
Hot dog and beans.
To all the Fathers wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is simple: “Just don’t pull out.”
FAT CHANCE (Pt 2 Holiday Prep)
For the heavy bellies, the big dudes, the big men who think they’re in shape but sweat at the thought or the act of a simple friendly conversation. WTF is that about?
Pores and bones screaming for less meat and more fruit. Bodies begging for mercy while pride tells them they’re still “built.”
And why do adults keep calling you Big Man like it’s a compliment? I bet they don’t want to be called Little Man, Skinny Guy, Stick Man, or Short Man
It's ridiculous how “Big” is supposed to sound like respect, when half the time it’s just code for “You’re way past your fighting weight.” Or worse, "Sexy Weight"
Ok. Ok. Now don't go eating your emotions. Remembering when you felt like stuffing your face until sick was the only time you were listened to.
Here’s the truth: your health and longevity should be the biggest thing about you. Not your waistline. Not your plates. Not your ego.
It also helps when your bank account is big too!
To conclude this big rant, eat smaller meals. Expand your palate to healthier foods. Add some color to your plate that didn’t come from barbecue sauce.
Because your life is a big deal.
Bigger than your appetite. Bigger than your excuses. And with the holidays around the corner, you’ll need that reminder before another season of “King’s Disease” hits, where the crown comes with high cholesterol and the throne comes with gout.
Take care of your temple, Big Man. Because being alive to tell your story is the real flex.
This season, trade the extra serving for an extra breath. Trad the second plate for a second chance to live. That’s the kind of wealth that never fades.
Music I Recommend
MAFIA CAFE, by jason Martin, Mike & Keys (Album)
Book I Recommend
(I'm still reading)-Dark Sons by Nikki Grimes
Dad Joke
"When two people have sex, it's a twosome. When three people have sex, it's threesome.
Now I know why people call you handsome."
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
FAT CHANCE
Comparison is the killer of confidence.
So now that Halloween has your family in recovery mode, don’t compare last week’s pre-candy body weight to today’s. Your midsection might look middle-aged for the next few days or however long it takes for your body to flush out the regret and get back to looking in the mirror with the lights on… and both eyes open.
Let it go. You didn’t fail your fitness goals. You just celebrated survival, one Butterfinger, Reese’s Cup, Baby Ruth, Snickers, and Peanut M&M at a time.
And maybe, just maybe, this is also a time to be a kid again. Especially with the one who wishes his dad remembered what it felt like to be anxious, confused, and misunderstood.
That’s a weight fathers know too well, the emotional kind. The kind that doesn’t go away with cardio. So, lighten up.
Laugh when your kid is candy-wasted and needs more sugar just to make the hangover feel less fatal.
Because every time you try to be perfect, your kid learns to fear their own flaws. But every time you show your own, full, and still trying-they learn what love actually looks like.
Music I Recommend
DJ Premier & Ransom- The Reinvention full album
Book I Recommend
(I'm still reading)-Dark Sons by Nikki Grimes
Dad Joke
Why can’t you hear rabbits making love? Because they have cotton balls.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
Bad Mood. Questionable Conversations.
My son was stressing about going to his 8th grade school dance and kept saying, “I don’t really want to go, but my friends, mainly his best friend, want me to.” I kept telling him, “You don’t have to go, kiddo, you’ll still be friends after.”
After a few minutes, all I heard were those same few annoying words repeated, like a song that was getting on my nerves, from him and from myself.
Then I snapped like my brain was injured. I opened my mouth, and what almost came out was, “Are you his bitch? Because that’s how you’re acting.”
But I was trying not to hurt him or be a piece of shit dad who scars his kids with the same shitty attitude that once kept me from leading a filthy life.
I wiped the thought and said instead, “Is he your keeper? You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
My son looked at me like he was trying to figure out which one of us was hurt, or suffering from brain rot, as the kids say. His eyes told me, That’s not what a dad who’s not trying to hurt me says.
We went in the house, shared a cookie, and I put my arm around him. I apologized for talking to him rude.
I told him I just wanted him to realize it was his choice and nobody else’s.
He decided to go.
After he showered and was fresh and clean, more from the shit I threw at him than the fun times he tries not to have at school, with all the mass anxiety and post-COVID suffering of the alpha, beta, sigma bros, he put on his cologne.
He looked at me crazy when I told him to rub some on his thighs, nuts, and butt. This is where my son leaned into his favorite joke.
He said, “I know what these conversations are about!”
Me and my wife asked, “What?”
My son said, “These nuts.”
My wife asked, “Why are you telling him that?”
I said, “Because no man wants to smell nuts just like no girl wants a smelly vagina.”
She said, “It’s an 8th grade dance.”
I said, “These are moves and lessons he will need for the rest of his life. Because as soon as he smells funk stronger than an enjoyable scent, he better move like his life depends on it.”
Music I Recommend
Big K.R.I.T. Gotta Do It
Book I Recommend
Dark Sons by Nikki Grimes
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
House of Blues: When Love turns into War
The trap house isn’t only filled with drugs. Sometimes it’s a “loving” home divided by silence and scorn.
The weight is heavy - swallowing the virtues of a relationship whole. Excitement cums from inciting arguments, when truth separates instead of motivates.
You’ve seen it. A marriage that feels like a war zone. Her smile fades. Her touch cools. Scorn becomes the only language spoken at home.
Warmth shifts to cold shoulders. You climb into bed, and she rolls over. Kids watch from the sidelines - victims trapped between crossfire, already preparing to side with their mother, right or wrong.
The man? He adopts silence, trying to absorb every wound.
But she keeps it moving. Not toward healing. Not toward him. Toward a work life she secretly adores because the man at home ain't doing it for her.
The Experiment Idea
Not all traps are made of drugs and steel bars. Some are made of resentment, silence, and the refusal to face truth. Neglect erodes a home the way addiction eats a body.
The Reflection
Where in your home has truth stopped motivating -and started dividing?
What unspoken truth, if spoken now, could save your house later?
The Experiment
This week, test your house for cracks:
Check Your Tone. Are you speaking to connect or to wound?
Break the Silence. Say what’s been swallowed. Truth delayed becomes poison.
Reset Together. Close one moment of distance with presence -eye contact, gratitude, or prayer.
Catch the Scorn. Notice when sarcasm, silence, or coldness steps in.
Name the Need. Don’t accuse, express. (“I feel shut out when…” or “I need more of…”)
Reset the Tone. End the moment with connection, a touch, a thank you, a memory worth holding.
As fathers, we don’t just raise kids. We raise the atmosphere they call home
Music I Recommend
DJ Premier & Ransom "Amazing Graces
Jason Martin, Mike & Keys "A Hit Dog Gon Holla
Book I Recommend
Dark Sons by Nikki Grimes
Dad Joke
Why do I call my wife “Wi-Fi”?Because her face, her eyes, and that ass got me feeling fully connected.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
L’s
Image from Pin on Illustrations
Let’s be honest-most of us are chasing something that sparkles. We fall for shiny words, smooth lips, and temporary highs from drugs, sexy scents and hips.
But here’s the thing: too many of those lips are selling something, that'll have the family walls coming down, exposing the funk and filth. They’ll tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to face. They profit when you’re lost.
And every time you ignore that quiet gut feeling, the one whispering “this ain’t it”-you trade peace for performance. You trade time for tension.
Then anger creeps in. You get ticked off at the smallest things because deep down, you know your time’s being wasted. Then you’re off your path.
So, before your emotions start making you act like you're driving to end what you need because your emotions steering to what you want, slow down. Talk it out. Be real with yourself before you’re hooked on a life seduced by struggle.
Because yeah, lust feels like luxury. But love and laughter? That’s home.
And home is where the good life actually lives.
Music I'm Enjoying
Jason Martin (A Hit Dog Gon Holla)
Book I'm still Reading
The Courage To Be Disliked (by by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi)
Dad Joke
Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish… and they only come out of their shell after a few drinks.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
Ready To Hear It All
Whatever your family wants to say, be the ear they don’t have to pull. Raise your attention when you see them drawn to filth-language, girlfriends, boyfriends, movies, music, video games, and influencers.
They will find reasons to believe their fathers don’t want to make time. They don’t see you waiting for them to be ready. They don’t see you fighting your own fatigue when you try to start a conversation one moment, and they’re gone the next.
You don’t have time to get tired. You need to have the energy to be all right when you hear all the wrong you’re doing.
Express yourself like you have terrets and be ready to feel and hear all that comes next.
Music I'm Enjoying
Mobb Deep (Against The World)
Book I'm still Reading
The Courage To Be Disliked (by by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi)
Dad Joke
How do you cheer up a person who is upset their grandfather is addicted to Viagra?
Nobody is taking it harder than Grandma! (joke from yeahmadtv)
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
Strength Without Cruelty
Everybody's recovering from something. In every family you got killers, healers, survivors, dealers, victims, beaters, heroes, cheats, honest ones, thieves, addicts, part-timers, and full-timers.
The sober ones who know they play every role. Special memories make you revisit each one.
Feel the life of that old fool, villain you play well enough for everyone to know. Trapped in moments of severe depression, regret, loss, shame-unsure if you want to break out and face another rebirth.
Then you remember your kids don’t care to know the monster you were.
Retract your claws. Kiss instead of bite. Talk instead of bark. Never tuck your tail tho; weak men don’t fare well.
The world can’t afford more cowards. Or Heroes dying for things that aren't worth it.
The Argument You’ll Never Win
Any of them.
Arguments are battles you swear you’ve won but always lose.
Grown men shouldn’t argue. Because grown men don’t argue into peace. We argue ourselves into rage. We don’t settle down through words thrown like fists; we escalate. Anger. Madness. Violence.
And the truth is, men don’t fight. Men kill. So why pretend that arguing is anything less than a slow bleed-out?
Arguments thrill fools. They’re a broke man’s favorite deal. Cheap power, expensive consequences.
Do you remember your favorite argument?
The one that ended the way you dreamed it:
where you walked away stronger,
where your relationship deepened,
where you got the apology you deserved,
where the loser felt respected instead of crushed.
Do you remember that?
Men skip arguments. Not out of fear, but out of mastery. We know how fast life can be taken, and how fast it can fall apart.
Peace is not won by proving points, it’s won by protecting your presence.
Rules of engagement for argument and conflict resolution:
Jay-Z said "A wise man doesn't argue with a fool, because bystanders won't know who's who.
Stop talking, breathe deep and think do I want to become the person I'm arguing with!
What argument are you still holding onto that cost you peace?
To All the Father's wondering "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS"
My advice is, Just Don't Pull Out!
Pretending Not To Notice
The Cost of Misplaced Attention
Intrusions
Let them creep in-feelings, visions, desires to intrude. They interrupt what makes you unusual.
Loyal, honest to a fault. Now lies are jokes, and your partner feels strange when she mirrors the fake, chaotic world around you. Smiles rotted stuck from doing dirt, and deeds that don't include self-love.
Disasters
Thoughts loop like chaos in a “final destination” scenario. Neglect and society pressures twist our children into someone else.
Media shapes common slaves, all fighting to hold a place in a world that encourages desperation. You hide. You feel alone. Embarrassed to be seen outside the hate you live on. So, you miss hugging your children. You can’t feel joy in a smile. You can’t even love who shares your bed.
What made you so hurt?
If you feel weak using that word, now you know why hate makes people feel superior. Giving desire to end things that matter holds the life of your attention. And you act like all the hurt people and do all the hateful things we dare not mention.
Observe
Be careful how you walk through your day. The time is always the same. It’s just the behavior that changes.
Connection
Be observant in another's space. Read the lines on faces. They lead to depths where emotions are punished by selfish acts hoping for rewards you no longer feel worthy of.
Cycles
Some of us escape to move forward after loss, an excuse to hold love hostage, saying: “If you leave, you never loved me.” We attend to distractions, bottles, and routines that keep our world from breaking. It’s all that feels possible when scary dreams are lived publicly.
Neglect
You struggle to show up when it matters. That burning feeling in your stomach, like you've been poisoned. Food for thought, negativity and neglect starve what makes family special. Get your energy up. I never heard of anyone too tired to fuck up love until they're too old to give some.
Don't wait until your family's too tired of your old habits.
Is there such a thing as a healthy deficit of love?
Regret & Lost Time
Think about the ones who got away. Missing moments that matter instead of scattering energy on breasts, to avoid making more bastards.
Treat spending time as the benefit. It's the priceless insurance that pays lifetimes after you're missed. And along with a legacy of knowledge, wisdom and riches, good memories are a father's greatest gift.
Music I'm Enjoying
Ghostface Killah (his new album Supreme Clientele 2)
Book I'm still Reading
Tubal-Cain (The Ancient Masonic Blacksmith God)
Dad Joke
Did you butt dial me? I swear your booty is calling me.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
ON MY BLOCK
Stand firm to give yourself the best chance. Tall as the weeds, showing your home needs attention. That's what I will always try to give. Ain’t no handouts in this world. You're crippled if you're not useful. That's something men can never get used to.
Even when I'm angry, I won't subtract our years, spinning us in circles until my resolve hurts you.
And me. I'm strong enough to admit I'm scared. You reject my simple “be better” advice for a teeth-and-bone colliding with knuckle truth, knocking heads until they're hard enough to hope and pray for damage.
I'm a dreamer, lazy with ambition, like a youth who's hungry but sees imperfect help as negative. When I show positive is real, you dissect how I live.
I'm not always happy. The thought escaped me most of my life. Sometimes I'm at peace because I kept you from the streets.
My nightmare is seeing you stuck in front of the drug you've been attached to since a child-showing comedic pain for you to repeat. Then I remember things I hope you never will experience. The hills of powder I thought was sugar that ran through a gang of elders, parents, and relatives.
I listen to old music they used for a guide. They never escaped the MAZE and couldn't hold onto happy feelings escaping reality brought. My heart skips in shock at how close death feels, and I get energized because I don't want to run out of time.
You gotta live on. Build something new. Success is always close. I desire it, carry it, and help you find and hold more love than a busy father has in his last kiss, smile, or hug..
Music I'm Enjoying
Scarface (The Legendary Rapper)
Book I'm still Reading
Tubal-Cain (The Ancient Masonic Blacksmith God)
Dad Joke
Why did the snowman suddenly smile? He could see the snowblower coming.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
Baddie Energy
Art from Pinterest
Find a woman who separates you from dark spirits.
A woman who prays over you, whether out loud or in her mind. Her acts uplift when you want to end it. All for creating a kind, loving life out of the ingredients you provide. Damaged, raw, ripe, even what you thought was ruined.
On dope nights, bodies and temperatures rise from heightened senses that make her uncommon and part of every man's wish. She likes to dance. Just a little tipsy, hips swaying, so when she stumbles into your arms on purpose, she fits you into her sacred spaces...
Perfect.
She makes you think about Barry Bonds, how she juiced your bat and busted your balls. Teaching you to knock it out the park. She likes it rough, hard and comes at the perfect time.
Long hair, thick thighs, green eyes. From the state exotic trees kiss heaven. She makes you think about planning forever.
Even when there’s smoke her air helps you see and think clear.
Body built like she's designed to sculpt and handle the heavy seriousness of a man's world. She knows a real woman’s thought and touch makes it all worth living in.
Her energy is contagious. A realistic optimist with a thousand-yard stare, to see and dead the nonsense. Real and soft in all the places her man likes.
Solid in ways that keep family and love strong and stay on your mind all-life-long.
Lips that quench. Sweet like pineapple juice. Makes you thirsty for nature’s sweetest fruit.
Dedicated to My Wife
To all the Father's wondering "How The Fuck Do I Do This?"
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!