IDENTITY
Art from Pinterest
I didn’t grow up with anyone who had a father in their home. The males who showed spirit were monsters of abuse.
When you see the worst of someone, at times you want to prove there's something better. You also learn what men and women are capable of: how to bend them to your will, and what they are willing to give and accept.
Fathers have to be active. You represent an example of everything your children strive for or avoid.
Men think they are the gods who create life, so you must have the consciousness to walk a path that builds and strengthens your purpose, intelligence, and bank account, more than your body count. Loose women cost you everything. Their only stable benefit is changing their mind to get ahead. And all it does is drain you.
What Being a Father Truly Means
They say any man can get some pussy and make a life. Being a father is more than just a title. It's a commandment. It's a dedication to raise a world that turns struggles into blessings and grows during life's normal and disturbing turns.
It means being able to provide safety, love, communication, awareness, acceptance, love, pain, loyalty, honesty, riches, wealth, health, and a place to listen.
Building minds that will last.
And... Providing a calm love that doesn’t need performance.
Values, Strength & Foundation
When we choose to be thoughtful fathers, we choose the values we want to embody. Your reactions should strengthen your family's character, not make them regret they involved you or showed proof of struggle.
Fatherhood can feel like you're going through puberty every night, overcoming the stresses we carry home, cracking the foundation we work hard to build. Stand firm. Be your own master.
Following the trend of influence will make you live the blues. That ain't the peace a man closes his eyes and hopes for. A man without a mind and discipline of his own won't be able to stand on his, and his family will fall for anything. We are presented with an overwhelming amount of goals to chase: bodies and bank accounts to copy.
Now I see why modest grandmothers were the original wonder women. Why men want homemakers, to raise good humans. Sadly, now, fucking reckless makes you popular and is somehow the definition of what a strong woman ought to be.
I was raised that a woman who was easy to pop meant she was never the one to be with. Her mind contains the secrets of a fallen demon, tricking you to believe she is heaven's lost secret.
A woman with a lot of bodies is like sleeping with a corpse; her bedroom is a morgue. Styles she laid to rest to style the man who will be laid next. Bodies and minds change. When you transition from absent to paying attention, it always feels too late. You lose sight of reasons for mistakes and own excuses instead of responsibility.
Listen and observe the identity shift in your woman. When her focus turns to interaction with objects she should use when alone, it’s time to change or move on.
Keep your lust locked on the one you're with. It will feel impossible when focus shifts to the children because you forget the baby you chose to create with.
Music I'm Enjoying
Kipp Stone
Books I'm Reading (The Holy Ones)
From Niggaz to Gods.
Dad Joke
What has two butts and kills people? An assassin!
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!
Strictly for Livemen
I used to say karma was for weak men who were Afraid to do what was necessary.
That was when I started crossing gods line. And why I believe children shouldn't be conceived by certain men. Human animals stay hungry for the good, bad, strong and weak. Nourishment for the ego. Too much beef makes you undesirable and unhealthy.
Pick the right fight.
When your soreness ends and bruises heal, you'll feel light as forgiveness.
Turn away from dark roads of lies. With dull hot lights. Covered in slick talk, exotic as an empty city street. The ones that look like a painting and feel like the night of all nights, when you were lonely, in love, lost, and creeping for a different life, when the gates opened to what you were searching for.
You can't turn back Karma.
You can turn away from breaking lives and love apart.
Father's!
Have a heart that keeps you good in this and the afterlife
Music I'm Enjoying
Buju Banton
Books I'm Reading (The Holy Ones)
The Holy Quran
&
The Holy Bible.
Dad Joke
It's okay if your phone autocorrects "fuck to duck". You're still using fowl language.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!
ACT YOUR AGE
Image from the movie Cooley High (1975)
Take it easy on your graduates. They have enough pressure figuring out a world that's not prepared for them
Made it to eighteen!
That's the American dream, if you're lucky enough to survive the cycle. Repeat days, learning from and about people who don't care about you. Talking to people feels like a fire alarm is going off in my brain. Like someone pulled the trigger on a starter pistol. My mind and tongue are off somewhere stumbling through the message my so-called "wise" parents passed on.
I think about being a parent myself. Would I keep a youthful desire to be the best at everything? Or think trying that hard makes you fall short. It's a costly disappointment, and you don't even see yourself passing it on. Maybe you were too busy running from your own past to keep up with what your kids really wanted.
So, you gave what you felt they needed.
You needed to hurt someone, like a man ready to get bread by any means necessary, when birth of new bills bought a reckoning. Being both destructive and constructive. Saying sorry felt like begging for forgiveness. A wasted plea in a world that only forgives the worst and moves faster than a cheater afraid to face the pain he spread.
We accept distractions like abuse, saying we hate it, then run back because it seduces us to say, "right now I'm glad I didn't make it." Whips us worse than an addict.
I still think about what I didn't accomplish. That doesn't mean I can't, but the doubt from believing those words became the blueprint for roads not taken. For potential I trained my slow-moving carefree self to run from. Playing more than I slept, until sleeping was my only commitment. And procrastination was my favorite game to master.
My age is mature rage. I hold my pain. I implode. I ruin. I rebuild. Showing ownership and responsibility is worthless, now a days anyways. Everything and everyone’s for sale.
Fuck. Fuck. Fucking shit. Fuuuuuuuuck.
Damn.
This is why they say men act like boys. My Nana used to say, "The older men get, the dumber they act." That's also because women jump on their backs for the biggest nuts.
My childhood is gone. I wish I could go back. Make some changes. Quick. Take some things more serious. School, my grades, lessons from my annoying parents. Maybe read a little more, because this angry know-it-all thing doesn’t really help me against calm adults who know better and use their anger in silence to focus and produce results.
They say, that's the business of wisemen.
I want to go back because I would spend more time among them. Those were the people I wished were my parents.
Now it's up to me. All I have to compare is broke behavior, and suddenly, I'm a teenage savior. Supposed to create a miracle life. Be super at things I was never taught—mostly because I ignored lectures about things from people I thought I would naturally be better than. Adults seem so boring. Part time users. Full time workers, successful at never moving past what’s blocking them.
OK world. Here I come.
Here’s my positive anecdote for facing the unknown.
Keep dreaming. Use ambition to get your days right, so the only nightmare left is returning to your former life.
To all the Father's wondering "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?"
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!
All The Smoke
We all have a set of tools to push and craft an admirable life to be left over after we pass. Here now is young and carefree, the way life is supposed to be. Growing into elder states helps disciplined men become established. An understanding of self-helps wishes live.
Know who and what you can't be around.
Stop trying to fit into places and people who you already know will cut your life short, the ones who see you last and need your attention first. You have to think you're special before and after you fail. That lesson will prove you are worthy to rebuild.
Keeps your head and eyes above.
Light your awareness, so you won't be covered by lust. It's the eclipse when men and women start looking wrong. Dark times happen all day when you work out the wrong muscle. Men just afford to be bitches! Observe your surroundings. Inhale the wrong energy and the only time you'll rise above is when you're seduced by lies. That's the wrong way to take a stand.
The only time a man should use and accept the word can't is when he talks about being misled by temptation, swayed by the waist of being in love with simple shit, fucking up your life, thinking with the head that prefers to be held by lips-talking loose to make love sink family treasures.
Music I'm Enjoying
Lefty Gunplay & Jason Martin's album (Can't Get Right)
Book I'm Reading
The BIBLE
Book I'm Studying/Revisiting
Nigger by Dick Gregory
Dad Joke
What does a robot do after a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
STRONG HAND
Welcome to the Fatherhood Experiment.
If you want to discover the worth you carry-read below!
Strong hand. What are you basing your worth on? Women, money. The signs of life to come are memorialized in your hand and what you hold in your mind.
Before you make a move, size up every option. Make peace or argue how relationships will decease. It all revolves around the law of prosperity.
You can allow the sun to benefit or burn; the stars to navigate, or align yourself with darkness for the point of no return. The offspring of Moonlight that keeps you balanced. Laying beautiful bodies diagonal to reproduce or cut off futures.
What do you see in yours?
I have a vivid imagination. I often see the worst. Negativity brings unfortunate manifestations. Now that I'm halfway to the other side, and my kids are near grown, trying to live lives they want, different than what I could afford, that can break the most decent man.
I AM more than that because I provide consistent returns to know and improve their worth.
Music I'm Enjoying
Nas - The lost Tapes
Book I'm Reading
The BIBLE
Book I'm Studying
Quotes by William James
Dad Joke
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easier to fall asleep with a light on.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
OPEN SOURCE
Everything shouldn't be accessible.
The popular theme is...
Teenage boys are in trouble! Losing their minds! Need help! Nobody understands why.
We have to stop pretending we don't know or see the problem.
Do you listen to your kids when they open their mouth, about themselves, their siblings, and their videogame frenemies. Negativity is the main source of language. Insults and threats pass as brotherly love.
Jokes are a test to see what people can get away with.
And what about the girls!
Sexual independence and improving looks at the cost of self-love. Is it empowerment or prostitution?
Competing for dogs makes them want to ravage, and that leaves everyone in a fucked-up position.
Are you aware of the influencers your kids watch? Parents and everything they allow are the main ones.
Everyone's looking in the black mirror. Death and the end of wholesome relationships are always near. Clear as acne from a man cleansing his stress through flesh of a woman who ain't his. Or a woman holding progress hostage. Showing dis-approval for any change she doesn't influence or control.
Every cell in their bodies searches for a better life but won't release the dirt kept in that special place in their mind.
You shouldn't be open to everything or everyone. When you have too many options, people start to believe they can control the worst ones.
People think being liked is accomplished by accepting all standards. You can't let the world control your morals for status. It changes from seeing the light to living in darkness every few hours.
Music I'm Enjoying
Kevin Gates (song and album called Ceremony)
Books I'm Reading
The BIBLE
Dad Joke
What do you get when you jingle a man's balls?
A white Christmas.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
STRONG MEN. Weak Moments.
You are a legacy of a-lot of things going right, even though it feels like so many things are going wrong.
You live forever through your children. Help them exceed the vision of being held captive. Thinking they aren't good enough because of your doubts, echoing society's shouts. Believing they aren't great because they didn't start that way. So, they half ass consistency, sprinting with the baggage from a father's past they're cheered on to carry. Running and hustling for a sport they don't care for, so they drop lower in life like the posture of a fiend.
A strong man's weak moments are letting his children live in his disappointment because they didn't live up to his expectations. Children have their own lives they need to discover and craft. Children are the most beautiful, precious art. Weak moments turn masterpieces into frauds.
A strong man's weak moments allow negative thoughts to create similar outcomes for interactions that should lead and end with love and positivity.
Being real about how you feel will help strengthen the approach to healing. Yes! Children encourage the rage, but parents feed the monster when they refuse to see their child's perspective.
Children will struggle to see their parent's perspective because they aren't adults. They don't understand permanent consequences of avoiding a responsibility to feel free.
A strong man's weak moment is believing sacrifice means giving up what he wants forever and holding a grudge. This means he can't receive or hold on to things that make him happy and necessary for the lives he is supposed to lead.
A strongman remembers his weak moments and is conscious of how he raises his. Teaching kids' strategic violence is what men respect and women want under covers more than a gentleman.
Strongmen remember they don't have to get high during weak moments to see the world is theirs. They know salary is a key, but knowledge, integrity and healthy relationships unlocks their destiny.
Music I'm Enjoying
Nas , Damien "Jr. Gong" Marley album (DISTANT RELATIVES)
Books I'm Reading
Confessions of Nat Turner
Dad Joke
How did the Burger king get the Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
HELP
Image from Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/pin/195343702579857672/
We want all the help in the world, but we don’t want the world to know we need help.
This week I interviewed Veterans, Businessmen, Businesswomen Recovering addicts.
I asked 3 questions.
What do you need help with most in the relationship (of your choice)?
If they were parents, how did their upbringing influence the way they parent.
How did their upbringing impact their life's successes and failures?
Understanding how to give love properly was the resounding answer.
Understanding how to receive love was the resounding concern.
Giving Love
Careful consideration matters.
Love should never feel like a hand me down. One size doesn’t fit all.
Children shouldn’t feel they need to become worthy of love, hoping it doesn’t change from moment to moment, depending on puberty, maturity, or how good or bad the parent's day was.
This creates a feeling of never being enough, and unable to recognize happiness or enjoy life’s rewards. When you have to find reasons to continue living and trying, you grew up with a disappointment that was exhausting. It never sleeps. It makes you want to blaze your dreams and signals an institutionalized mentality.
Out of sight and out of mind makes everyone feel dead inside.
Don't try to repair memories. Create new and better moments that will be enjoyed by your family.
Understanding How To Receive Love.
It comes with forgiveness. Working through pain and hurt you feel you allowed.
Listen to your senses. If family is creating ways to spend time and recognize your importance in their life, and in ways that make you feel worthy- ground yourself in it and use it to cultivate self-compassion and self-love.
Keep your mind and heart open to create love that you always wanted.
Also talk about expectations and what ya'll want.
Open communication allows you to decipher coded speech and body language of love becoming a familiar enemy.
Music I'm Enjoying
Gil Scott-Heron
Book I'm Reading
Games Criminals Play by Bud Allen & Diana Bosta
Dad Joke
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on my organ.
Next week we will discuss question 3-how their upbringing influenced their life's successes and failures.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
2 Nice To Handle
Art from the movie Casino.
The thought used to be "something ain't right." Now you understand it all.
A damaged woman thinks she's more of a man than a tender, kind, nice guy working to give her everything. And if her man ain't beating her body, pussy and mind she thinks she can fuck him over.
Warning! If she presents your doubts or dislikes as insecurity, the relationship has a problem bigger than your dick can solve. That’s a trick men use when trying to dig deeper than memories of his ladies lost love.
Your secure enough to know your truth and identify a solution but she wants to work on ways to continue and only seem different. Men give chances to correct, but when we are wronged, we willingly become the problem that can't be solved. We are conscious of every flaw and feeling. That's why we can return from war to provide, love gentle, and fuck hard to remind why you wanted us.
Everyone knows the saying “Nice guys finish last. Or every girl wants a bad boy. “
The real lesson is nice guys put their happiness first. They show restraint because they want to be a good man to their woman and family they represent. Nice guys give their woman what she wants, and he wants the same without headache or hurtful challenge.
What would you do Scenario:
Your woman works with a guy, who seems like he's not a threat. They are at an event together and get food that comes with one fork. Instead of walking to get another, she offers him a bite from hers.
When you discuss your disapproval, and for her not to do that again, she says, he didn’t’ use his lips, or some bullshit, pointing to the fact that no saliva was swapped.
You repeat that you didn't like it and for her not to do it again-all in the tone of a calm nice guy, who shouldn't have to yell or be mean to get his point across- especially to his woman. Because BITCH-A REAL MAN DON'T SHARE HIS WOMAN.
She stares at you, to see how serious you are. Looking to see if she can take it as a joke because you're nice enough not to yell or abuse her. Instead of realizing you are man enough to control your rage and treat her like the woman he loves, without allowing hateful rage to cloud his judgement. A behavior she's seen you purposely use to ruin relationships.
And her apology "don’t look at me like that!" Because you look upset by her challenge.
What's a Man to do when his peace is being fucked with?
We take note of who’s the threat-real or pretend. Tough guys always show respect, because they understand the point of no return that comes with violence.
The drama nation we live in makes people believe- If it ain't filled with drama or abuse it's not real love.
Being a Nice Guy. A Gentleman. A Kind Man is harder than loving someone.
A man wants it all his way and usually gets it while alone. So, when he shares his peace, his mind, his, strength, his fears and it's used at any time to help less or weaken him, and he doesn't kill over it, be careful... He's remembering how nice it was to be selfish, which is what the world considers A bad man.
Music I'm Enjoying
Vince Staples album (Dark Times)
Duckworth album (American F*uckboy)
Books I'm Reading
Re-reading NIGGER, by Dick Gregory
Dad Joke
What does the preacher's daughter say when she has sex with the heathen before married?
Holy moly. Oh' my God, what is this spirit I feel in me?
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
DUAL
Art by Bruce Timm
YOU ARE MORE.
More than your fears.
Let it out. If you only cry through tattoo tears, you're holding onto abuse. Afraid to let go because you don't want to seem weak and wounded.
LESS DISCIPLINE MORE LOVE.
Being a Father is heavyweight. We bruise, smother and crush what we cherish. Selfish conquests make ego and violence beautiful.
DONT BELIEVE ME!
Behold the sparking eye and creamy thighs of women who want more after they're satisfied. They prefer danger over comfort and stability. Why do you think they read smut books and question us about porn. They want a threat but don't understand the wreckage that comes with it. We brush off their mental fuckery to make the relationship last for the children. Until the last one is out of the house, then we lose what stopped belonging to us. The love that made us last.
FUUUUCK!
When you're cutting the weight of bad habits like showing whose better instead of how to improve, you'll get sick and feel like such a burden, you won't want to move. They say sensitive men call it depression; tough ones call it going through some shit. Enlighted ones understand, work while fixing it and don't give life and labels to anything that hinders them.
That's a wish I'm trying to live. But the only thing I've ever received from a wish was moment of silence.
No peace because I wish to resurrect dead dreams and relationships that seem better discreet. Ones gone but celebrated through spirits. Seeing shapes in a bottle and hearing their voice with every swallow. Ones longed for through prayer and ones who hold space in the abyss you avoid.
Hold on to the love children see and feel beyond the hostility and noise.
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My Adivice is Just Don't pull Out!
A Quick Word
Image From Boyz N The Hood
My version of your dreams are irrelevant.
But since there is no maturity age for emotions, I will always be hurt and aggravated if you give up on yours.
And.. I love you so much I would sacrifice mine so you could live yours. Not forever though, I am not a broken man, and I don't want to love with a vengeful heart.
I have a distrust for a-lot. Especially feelings. They betray me when I think about how I'm supposed to love and discipline. Sometimes, goddamn, lord forgive me I want to beat you into submission.
Because holy shit you make some bad ass decisions. Then I remember all of mine. Even now when I allow anger to linger for lessons that turn into wars of willpower to see whose anger can last longer, whose pride has more authority.
My sanity, care, empathy, compassion, all thoughts and emotions a father are supposed to have gets drained like an hourglass. Although time never runs out or fast enough on behaviors that limit my patience.
Put me in the psych ward because I love you like crazy.
If that's the one thing you get from my discipline. I did my job as A Man. A Father. A Masculine being that can't be neutered. I'll always demand your best and want you happy. That makes me a real mother fucker from the generation admired for opening doors for their family. Who took care of their children and grands, when a hard life was more than spoiled babies could stand.
Sometimes our home feels like a ward.
Negativity makes us psychic? You know why I ask! We hold each other to task before we act. We hold each other down the way ghetto birds bring joy, and warning signs to escape. They say positivity is the way. I say reality is the escape.
I hold a dealer's pain. Punishing and pushing to provide love and security, so family can one day be saved.
I love you like crazy and for the first time I may allow myself to understand why you behave like that...Me...
Be your own. own what and who you're becoming.
Are you still a virgin? The wrong goods can spoil you for the rest. Mental stimulation is supreme, godly ejaculation. Everyone should have that I don't give a fuck in'em. It's called ambition, real living.
That's the tradition I want you to carry. Never-mind ignorant thinking, from sinners portrayed as saints because they get more attention than a fake orgasm. Make sure you seduce for real connections.
I Love You Like Crazy.
Dad Joke
What did Cinderella say to Prince Charming?“Want to see if it fits?”
Music I'm Enjoying
Greentea Peng (TELL DEM IT'S SUNNY)
Movie I Recommend
Cooley High (1975)
Books
Professional Troublemaker by Luvvie Ajayi Jones
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!
Exposure Therapy
I thought this was ridiculous until I realized we do it every day.
You face the world when you're depressed, and yourself, which is even scarier.
You allow someone to get on your nerves instead of correcting the annoyance. Grow old and bitter in a relationship spoiled from outdated love.
You go to that job every day that makes you wish it would all end sooner than later. Showing up for strategic insubordination and lengthy lunch breaks. Then go home and influence arguments to escape responsibility. That's the response to life of a man who's not really living.
You’ll never avoid disappointment, but you’ll feel less when you confront your fears daily. If you’re getting up, making laziness play its position. Preserving bonds strengthened through love, and kind communication.
It feels like we stay and purposely make the pain worse. Being unproductive feels fulfilling when we have unfulfilled people listening, justifying complaints.
Self-sabotage is a swamp we swim and drown in.
What do you fear most? I bet it has to do with being broke and alone. Feeling like you never gave family hope, until you exposed your flaws. Showing a sickness that shouldn't be passed on.
We talk about the good ol’ days because we feel safer reminiscing about the life we wanted, rather than exposing we’re too scared to grow up and go for it. Once you Abuse hope, you avoid moving on to better because it's easier than admitting you gave up.
Nobody wants to quit what they exposed themselves to.
You have to be Half Man Half Amazing.
Fight through pain for pleasure. A man must run his world. And knows he'll struggle to finish without a good woman who loves, respects and nurtures his strengths and weaknesses.
Give the most to those who love you. The school of hard knocks means home is where love works, matters and pays the most.
That’s how Man, Woman and Family thrive. And do more than survive.
The percentage of people who are scared and unhappy is easy to calculate. Look at your figure. If you are fat-broke- broken- alone-happy in the madness or mean out of habit; your daily focus is on exposure to an unhealthy dream. It's also why you refuse to wake up and change.
No man can hide from life. Whether fully or ill-prepared, your fears and cares will be exposed.
Are you preparing to live out your dreams or nightmares?
Dad Joke
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
Music I'm Enjoying
Fairwell by Ransom & Dave East
I Love You by Ab-soul ft Faith Evans & JID
Movie I Recommend
American Fiction (starring Jeffrey Wright)
Books
NIGGER by Dick Gregory
Quote I'm feeling
"We don't just believe things because they are true. We think things are true because we believe them." Myron Golden
Be careful what you consistently expose yourself too!
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!
THERA-PISSED
THERAPIST
Pissed off at life. Everyone feels like an enemy when you deny you're the result of what it’s become.
I try to remain calm. Tap into my Yogi spirit. Remove myself from the need for pain and pleasure. Then I remember, fathers are pained when we don't provide either. Some days we want to please ourselves, and that's when it always feels like family needs our help most.
A therapist will say, you're a loved and fortunate man to be able to provide for a family who loves you and also wants and needs your help.
That statement is true.
HOWEVER...That's not enough. We all want more-even if it's more of the same. As long as it's not more poverty and unnecessary struggle. The world always requires more of what families don't need. We can try to be minimalists, happy and satisfied with what we have, until it feels like a position of lack.
As a man you have to ask what am I lacking? The answer is usually the result of simple things you refuse to do, because you simply feel it's unnecessary for someone with your ego.
REALIST
We won't always feel happy. And feeling happy doesn't make life better.
Allowing and nurturing relationships. Allowing and nurturing love makes you happy and makes life better.
Doing things that make you productive, makes your dreams available and puts you in place to make it all real and believable.
Happiness comes with sacrifice. We don't realize we are sacrificing sadness, misery, disappointment and failure when we are real about the direction our life is going, how we arrived, how we're going to get out and work towards it.
OPTIMIST
The new drug word.
That Mindset is vitally important. A sign of the type of life you design and attract.
When things ain't going right, naturally you won't believe your star shines even with the darkest skin on the darkest nights.
When you grow up conditioned to low expectations, optimism feels like a treatable std you caught from that fine bitch with low confidence, who was letting errrbody beat and leave behind their damage.
You're supposed to think of more than your current predicament, because everything gets old. Without optimism- hard, bad times are the only ones that remain young and relevant.
WHAT THE FUCKIST
What do you do when you want to give up?
Remember you want to give your children positive successful places to look. And a quitter is a parent who lets the world raise bastards.
I say this everyday dreaming of a better everything.
As I work myself to exhaustion diagnosing nightmares. Helping people who fight and complain to keep the same life ending feeling-despite supportive friends and family.
Then I go home wrecked, like an overweight man in an over the hill tournament. Or a new divorcee prowling the club, thinking getting fucked up and dicked down keeps them young. Turning over regrets and woulda, coulda, shoulda's. Too mind and heartbroken to make it better then.
You know what the fuck is wrong. Sacrifice. Family needs. Regret. Struggle to do it different because nobody really gives a fuck about improvement. or fuck to take their mind off it.
When you get pissed. Recognize the clarity.
At your lowest, you find moments of hope, wishing for a hand to hold and pull you up, out of the fucks you're buried under.
You'll also have moments you wish to stay there.
And since you can wish, you can dream, and you will see what life is like having everything and everyone you need.
Music I'm Enjoying
Ransom & Dave East (Final Call Album)
Books I'm Reading
All The Lonely People (by Mike Gayle)
Dad Joke
"My favorite sex position is called 'WOW.' It's where I flip your MOM over."
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is "Just don't pull out!"
WARNING
WARNING!
A-lot of days you can't help your kids. You won't know how-and most of the times you do, they will resist, and you will resent them.
They won't believe your plan is cool as their favorite failing celebrity.
Your struggle is just as real, but minor failures don't have mass appeal. Attention is now the definition of integrity and wisdom. It's the law ruling and ruining life. Thats how people live in misery and only become happy when they create ways for you to join them in gossip, arguments, disrespect and betrayal.
That's why the devil is scarier than God and the most worried about person in the bible is Judas.
Anger and resistance to a truth you don't want to hear doesn't make you a man and doesn't make it less true. Not allowing anger to be the reason you lose control of respect, and your dreams is how you become the adult you seek.
When children sink into that place of confusion, when everything feels wrong, they may not come to you or want anything to do with you and too much rejection can make you hateful. Not enough that you want to lose love forever, but enough to wish to be left alone long enough that it up-ends home.
Rejection feels like a hateful, violent crime. And whether you fight or flight, both are meant as payback.
WARNING!
It feels worse before it gets better, when we hold onto depression-purposely pressing down our joy. Ruminating on every bad moment so our mental workouts strengthen our self-destructive muscle, feeding it anger towards that wonderful inner child, until they give up on playing out the life that made them smile. Refusing to think or worry about consequences because they believe youth never dies.
Thats how dreams get buried.
Kids think being an underdog at home gives them a reason to leave it all behind. A reason to keep looking back for something they wish they had. Because the adult life ahead is not anything they ever prepared for, or not the version they wanted to move towards.
All THEY SEE...
No one to stand up for them because they took their adolescent stand against everyone with real love for them.
No one to cook for them.
No one to guide them.
No one to console them.
WHAT'S NEEDED...
Be that stubborn thing, always in the way. Awkward but comforting like a secret hideaway that fits whatever attitude they need. A rock that gets scraped and pushed but holds still, pain and faith.
WARNING!
Children won't believe they were taught to rebel by a loving father. To demand they stand up for themselves. Think for themselves. Be a good individual. Create a world of kindness and balance mean behavior on a scale that tips power and respect in their favor.
They won't believe-all they have to do is ask.
Fathers know better. We have to be the blessing they receive in their time of need.
Teach your children positive labels for themselves without being negative towards others.
Dad joke
Knock, knock.
(Who's there?)
Dozer.
(Dozer who?)
Dozer some great assets you got there.
Music I’m Enjoying
Song: Life is Beautiful by Larry June, 2 Chainz, & The Alchemist
Book’s I’m Studying (The Holy Ones)
The Book Of Five Rings
Book’s I’m Reading
(Textbook for my master's in clinical psychology)
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!
TRAPPED
I don't remember where I heard "the more things change the more, they stay the same."
You ever think traps are personal brainwashing to?...
Crave severe negativity most of your life! Any reason or excuse for people to overlook that you're not living to your potential. It gives you a fire to run into. It's a hellish fight on a wonderful, wicked road that leads everywhere you thought about going.
The beauty is...It always leads to believing your life and goals reached the dead end you were hoping for.
Trapped In A Bad Mood
When you look around and feel trapped, it's because your ambitions got highjacked, taken over, held hostage by work that your anxiety says you to need so the family can eat. Relationships that hold you in place because you don't know if your next move will renew or ruin, because yours are scrutinized so much by people who are supposed to care, they ignore their own behavior or lash out when you give attention to theirs.
That trap makes fathers break out of a legal mentality. Break out of being rational. And we become that caged animal that once attracted but now scares you.
You ever try to help someone through something that's obviously bothering them, then they get pissed at you. Then when you don't help, they say no one pays attention. Then all of a sudden, they're happy and feel enlightened telling you about that same profound advice they received from another person.
You ever try to "Just Be and Think Positive?"
It makes you feel like you're going fucking crazy. Crazier than constantly thinking negative and feeling your life become the worst damaging, traumatic movie replaying in your head, until everyone you see, and encounter becomes an enemy.
This also happens when you watch and listen to negativity experts pretending, they are helping you find a way through the madness, while keeping you mad.
The terrifying thing about being trapped is how easily and often we do it to ourselves. You ever try to change and the people you want to lead keep setting up their life with the same sorrows. All you do is think about how much it's your fault. Somehow you stopped motivating them. And that makes you feel sorry for yourself.
We don't listen to practical wisdom.
We prefer to prove ourselves in areas that matter more to strangers' than family and ourselves. Then we all become strangers- trapped believing everything outside the family matters.
Breaking Free
Put your needs first. We hear it all the time "Be selfish!"
People who doubt the importance and positive impact of being selfish either don't understand power, or don't want any. Think about the power, influence, and success of your favorite normal-regular person (cool family member, friend, or boss) or celebrity (actor, musician, athlete). How the fuck do you think they achieved success?
Hint! They were selfish, put their needs first and stayed focused.
Start by saying what you want. One of the easiest, most consistent ways to trap ourselves it is silencing ourselves.
Leave anything that stops you from feeling good about doing what you enjoy.
Allow yourself to say it, act on it, then become it.
My Trap
I only want to be with my family. (That feels like freedom and power)
BUT
I spend so much time away from them working to make other people's lives better, I feel like I owe them more money than time. That makes me feel like a waste and too trapped with disappointment to look love in the face.
Quote of the fucking week
"Fuck shit mother fucker fucking stupid ass life and all this fucking hard motherfucking shit I gotta deal with, that I should be better than by now and have it all mother fucking figured the fuck out. muthat fucking wishing I could end all this shit but that would be the end of me, then I would really fuck up the family, what the fuck is wrong with me, what the fuck is wrong with everybody, and every-MUTHA-FUCKING THING IS BOOOOOOTHERING MEEEEEEE!" Fuck...
Dad Joke
I'm too serious to play. I don't have any time to waste except for on me and my struggles and complaints.
Books I'm Reading
Tests & Measurements for my stupid ass mother fucking psychology Masters degree class.
Music I'm listening to
Nas (A shuffle mix of all of his music)
To all the Father's wondering, "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?"
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!
PERMANENT INK
What have you written in blood?
Overcoming setbacks when disappointment makes you numb. When rage turns to resisting dreams, you wake up fighting for.
That's when you have to caress the life you want, so struggle doesn't leave you feeling fucked and suffocating like your being held down by everything and everyone, so your vision of a better life looks and feels like a friend instead of an enemy.
What did you write off, after setbacks made you believe you couldn't overcome? When quitting started to look like a job well done like stylish junkies telling stories of how they blazed trails you could only match if you got high on false hope.
Write your blessings out. Remind yourself of the new you-- when once upon a time, it was worth it to close your eyes and feel yourself buying your nana and mom a new house. And being the man your family would be proud of.
Take note of your mental. (What are you saying to and thinking about those you love and influence)
Damn son.
Why do you make it so difficult.
Did I hold your freedom hostage?
Was I wrong to give you everything you wanted and be there for your struggle and force my energy to match yours.
I know… I’m the adult. Sometimes being a parent feels like you never pay enough dues.
Ahhh… I get it. I remember that’s what it feels like for you.
Feeling cursed with a daughter even though I taught her right. Also to be independent and stand and fight for hers.
I did women wrong thinking that’s how men earn stripes. Hunting purrs and growls to mark them with ink used for protein and breeding. But as long as I came out on top!!!
Write on bodies and life you want to keep.
Don't wait until you're older and mature to touch up the hurt. Stories we forget we carry but our world notices.
Tough pain on display.
Stay at odds with failure. That makes frustration normal and success real unusual, like the one with the colorful hair, face tattoos and piercings holding your attention because you recognize scary freedom.
Let love and understanding be your art.
Fathers should be healing warriors like Jason Wilson.
A father’s attitude is the gun. Children’s action is the bullet. We influence their life’s usefulness.
To all the Father's wondering "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?"
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!
A father’s attitude is the gun. Children’s action is the bullet. We influence their life’s usefulness. (this is a quote I remixed--the original is by Jason Wilson)-check him out on https://youtu.be/2fBVdWRs62Q?si=wInyQODhqGx2iZlw
Let Your Kids Be Their Own Person
WELCOME TO THE FATHERHOOD EXPERIMENT!
This week is about letting your kids be themselves.
Hint... These are ways to let them suffer when they don't listen, then help them without the revenge mindset, all while gently showing them you won.
When you find out they did some dumb shit or rationalize a dumb decision (Start saying OK, smile, ask if they need anything, then calmly remove yourself from the situation)
I know this feels impossible. Especially if you were raised a certain way, and to believe certain things. When you try to control your children. You will lose more than your mind and their trust. Then your children will think you are impossible.
Let them be mad. Children need to understand what brings pleasure, and what type they prefer.
Let them deal with discipline. Accountability is the mindset leading to power. And power over your life, helps family own theirs.
Let them fight. Children need to understand the level of aggression they can tolerate.
Let them be wrong. Children will figure out the right decisions and way to live life. And they may want the opposite of yours.
Let them lose. Children should understand the desire to win. Along with the disciplined work and focus it takes to continue their pursuit.
Let them be hurt. At some point, everything will feel like an injury. Life will stun and shock until it all falls apart. Children need to realize it's the things they ignore that make it hard to gather and get back up.
Let them be disappointed. Everything won't go your child's way. We (Father's) can't rush in when that happens. Children need to analyze their decisions and make necessary corrections.
-Answer all of their questions, after you ask them what they think. We all need reminders that we are the creators of our dreams
Let them live life on their terms. Children make a new contract daily- according to their mentality.
Let them be the god that builds. Children need to learn to be a person of honor. That feels un-lawful in this world where people who do demon shit are judged as cool as long as it entertains you.
To let Your children be great, help them apply these rules every day.
Dad joke
What kind of bees make milk?
Boo-Bees.
Music I’m Enjoying
Song: I'm still listening to Happy Feeling by Frankie Beverly & MAZE
Book’s I’m Studying (The Holy Ones)
THE BIBLE
Book’s I’m Reading
(Textbook for my master's in clinical psychology)
To all the Father's wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!
Ol’ Head
I make it a point to watch what my kids watch. I understand the power of influence especially on young minds.
They watch a-lot of anime.
A-lot of the anime has great lessons in resilience, friendship and loving relationships.
My all-time favorite is NINJA SCROLL. I remember more action than sex, but the necessary amount of violence based on Ninja culture.
When I started watching what my children watch, all I saw was Big Tits, Ass, Camel Toes, Sculpted chests, Abs, Bulging Crotches, & boys who look like girls.
I don't remember seeing extreme sex, drugs, and violence everywhere in cartoons, when I was a kid except for movies with humans.
Remember Basic Instinct!!!!!!!! The Terminator, Porgies, Weird Science. American Psycho.
Cool World & Who Framed Roger Rabbit! (If men stopped paying attention to those type of women, they wouldn't suffer so many losses.)
Those movies are what remained in my memory rolodex for innocent sex motivation, until I became a parent.
Now as I'm watching my kid's anime(d) TCA (Tits, Crotch, & Ass) being thrown around like orgies are daily child's-play, I wonder how much influence it's having on childhood mental fuckery.
We used to have playboy and hustler, which were hidden and restricted. Now all you have to do is turn on the TV, visit a website, lie about your age, and WAP, all in your face. Dreamy, steamy, influencing scheming, pulsating crotches from adolescent entertainment.
I'm an 80's baby but I remember Fritz the Cat, Heavy Metal & Heavy Traffic.
Every generation has a new repeat of influential Sex, Love & Drugs. But nobody should be drugged to live obscene, especially children.
A-lot of the anime has great lessons in resilience, friendship and loving relationships.
As an adult, I understand the role of sex, love, drugs, and their utility and relation to violence. I also understand these are nothing to play with or take lighthearted around children. It shapes and molds them to believe everything harmful is somehow ok.
Now that I'm a parent, I understand how it shaped my own parents, and the people who helped raise me. Battered, used, abused, sexually frustrated and misled, so conversations about good healthy decisions were forced, one-sided, and angry.
Sex becomes our drug. Dugs become what we love until we learn to love ourselves.
Healing requires violent change because you have to fight against temptations that keep you addicted to ruin.
I must be getting old because I'm adjusting the truth. Like my parents and elders who conveniently forgot all the wild shit they used to watch, say, listen to & do. I haven't fully adapted to that mindset yet tho.
A-lot of the anime has great lessons in resilience, friendship and loving relationships.
I keep my understanding wise and truthful, with a sprinkle of old man youth. Like the old-school rap, Soul music and R&B they're getting hip to.
My family knows I'm here for them. We are all here because of my decisions. They had to live with mine. Now I live to help, influence, and encourage them to make thoughtful, good, useful decisions so they can live happily with theirs.
Old, Grown, Good Rule;
if you have to keep telling yourself you will stop or change something later or tomorrow-you are addicted.
To all the Father's wonder "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS"
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out.
JOY & PAIN/ NEW BEGINNINGS
WELCOME TO THE FATHERHOOD EXPERIMENT!
This edition is regaining love in your relationship!
First let's talk about endings.
When is the relationship over?
Is it when you see your love start to do the things you did when you were unhappy?
Close Distancing
Same house different rooms. Asking for closure with confusing language because you're so mad & annoyed at everything, the only understanding your words allow is anger-because you want them to feel in danger.
Being mean on purpose like the asshole who tries to make everyone else be the piece of shit because he wont take responsibility for ANYTHING! Or, the bitch who tries to make everyone bend to her will.
I've never bent to anyone's will, except for my past temptation. I've outlasted & moved past them.
Giving in to anger in relationships influences those temptations to reach out & catch you slippin'. Makes your heart and spirit pound with hurt & damaging memories until you stop fighting for your love & begin fighting for its destruction.
Cliche "The hard thing is the right thing."
For parenting and loving relationships (in my case marriage)-this is always asking what's going on. Then taking the answer with love and responding in that imaginary, nearly impossible tone of always bringing love closer.
When family answers "NOTHING!" to make you seem paranoid & crazy- remain calm, remember to-say what you see. Beware... It may turn into a statement of blame.
"That's You Not Me!"
In loving relationships there is no just you or just me. It's You & Me. So, it's always We & US.
When love is allowed to separate; choosing sides of anyone other than home is the beginning of the end.
BEGIN
When you feel that anger & frustration that makes you want to isolate- push forward like the days you were first attracted & trying to get up in those draws, allowing nothing to be wrong, thinking everything was cute & unworthy of anger- even stinky farts. Now you're doing everything to cover up the stench of regret.
Begin by helping them see their importance & worth because the world & its work will make them see, feel, & want opposite of what their love is offering.
CAN YOU BEGIN LOVE AGAIN?
In a relationship where the feeling is ending, think about suffering. Its a strange request but you will naturally think about suffering less. Think who you want to suffer less with. I guarantee it's the family you have. Remember those moments & feelings of happiness.
Pleasure and suffering leave evidence. You choose which to build life and love on.
BEGIN Each day allowing yourself to fight for love.
Live each day being honest about what's making you sad & making you happy.
BEGIN With a happy ending to the day in mind & if you feel your love wake up different-Fuck until she changes hers!
The joy you get when you have courage to begin again is always better than pain of letting love end.
Dad Joke.
What’s the difference between light and hard?
It’s easier to fall asleep with a light on
Music I’m Enjoying:
Frankie Beverly & MAZE
I've listened to Happy Feelings (remastered version) every morning and every evening drive home since the new year began.
Book’s I’m Studying (The Holy Ones)
THE BIBLE
THE Bhagavad Gita
Book I’m Still Reading (I’m a writer so I’m studying these too)
NIGGER by Dick Gregory
To all the Fathers wondering "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?"
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!
SACRED LOVE
NEW YOU! SAME Ol’ Dark Times!
Trying to regain and keep the spark?
Sing the song of love.
Sometimes that involves hate-when you hold onto to things you need to let go. Father’s are the spirit of their family. That scary being used as a memory to frighten and encourage.
The god in you should always seek the god in your family.
Say good words to yourself, especially when you ain’t getting them from ones who need yours. Family seeks hate sometimes, when you haven't taught them to love themselves.
Nurture emotion. Plant ideas like a botanist. Discover what they desire to make good emotions bloom. Also, to create what they need because they can't live spoiled on what they want.
-Greed and impulse give people what they deserve. Sit your family down and analyze decisions, nerves and emotions to see the drawbacks and benefits. Look at how ya'll react in similar situations because old problems present new ways to steal attention.
Be too selfish to leave. Step away to get yourself right or get out of the way when you only find something wrong. Create a runway to a loving home instead of a path to get lost.
-Venting has to be two sided. Talk through the anger instead of holding grudges, or you'll get stuck looking at each other thinking stranger-danger & who the hell is this person & where is the one I love?
Cherish the nights of wolvish thoughts, when you would rather be alone. Leaders of the family are always under attack. Feeling like your best is never enough, and your worst is what they’ve been waiting for to use as an advantage.
-Show them more than pain to feel alive. Be cheesy and speak on the good times as they're happening. We're too quick to let happy feeling die. Chasing next time makes love run dry without crying.
Laugh more, even if you have to force it. Beware when you do. You may need to cry in silence to reveal what you thought you buried. And discover you carry tragedy like the pounds weighing you down because you never smile.
New year Song of Love
Keeping it new ain’t easy! The harder the better. (She said she likes a clever motherfucker!)
We love to pimp indifference.
Need to be a better richer man, so the kids never have to depend on another.
So, the miss remains a freak and keeps you-only- deep in those cheeks. Solve the mystery of making the old become new. Karma is a seductress and screws until you're stripped from relationships you cherish.
Can’t be a bystander when good love gets out of hand. Ain’t nothing rosy about pulling on heart strings full of startling, memories.
it's an everyday struggle, when love doesn't feel like enough because we never let it be more. Comparing it to before makes us an afterthought.
You thought saying I love you was enough!
That’s a thing that never was, like being honest when your body ain’t allowing those jeans so you take them off and tell me to come work you out.
I’m a little off in my head-needs a-lot of warmth, licks, strokes and caresses. Just don’t make it ache, cause we’re full of temptatioooon…. Won’t allow sin to be my sensatioooon… I’ll just fuck you right, so I don’t do wrong and let out my frustraaaatioooons!
I'll give you kindness if you give paaaatieeeence!
Dad Joke.
What's the difference between a hooker & a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash her crack & resell it.
Music I’m Enjoying:
Red Leather by Future & Metro Boomin ft J. Cole.
This Sunday by future & Metro Boomin
Book’s I’m Studying (The Holy Ones)
THE BIBLE
THE QURAN
Book I’m Reading (I’m a writer so I’m studying these too)
NIGGER by Dick Gregory
To all the Fathers wondering "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?"
My advice is Just Don't Pull Out!