THE BREAKING ROOM

One of the hardest parts about being a father is knowing-no, feeling-your family likes you less because you’re holding them to a standard they want you to let go of. And when you’re not the friend to them that their mother is, they use distance the way people use cover when they think an enemy is nearby.

They’ll never say it. They won’t need to.

The evidence is louder than that one time when the disobedience, which they never believe is disrespect, almost turned the living room into a boxing ring.

But since you practice the mystical martial arts of calm fatherhood, you absorb tension, so it doesn’t become violence.

You watch patterns instead of reacting to moments. You shadow behavior, adjust angles, slow the room down.

You do everything you can to help them see the writing on the wall without having to read it later being written in blood.

Here are some remedies to remember and help keep you from breaking up your family.

• Understanding that your children are figuring out their relationship with discipline.

• Correcting your temperature and attitude before entering the room.

• Leaving space where an argument would've lived

Music I’m Listening To

Streetlights by JasonMartin ft. Jeremih.

Book I’m Reading

You Deserve To Be Rich by Rashad Bilal and Troy Millings.

Final Word

Repair doesn’t come with guarantees. Effort doesn’t entitle access. And restraint is the work nobody claps for.

To all the fathers wondering HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?

My advice is simple: Just don’t pull out.