Ah-dict
We are addicted to everything. Mostly remaining in struggle, so we can feel like we are working to overcome our troubles because either we haven’t learned to believe we deserve happiness-trust and believe in our version, or, put too much importance in what others say it’s supposed to look like.
Gotta want to change the situation more than change other’s opinion of you.
A Father’s Culture
His culture doesn't always match the world outside of his mind, hugs, or kisses, because its opposite of his gentlemanly love in a world abusing itself to create cold-hearted alphas.
Big Nick Energy
Art from TeePublic
We got the tree up.
It sparked old thoughts of robberies. All those damn lights. I remember sirens made me run and ask for God in moments the dumb try to wise up.
No presents under the tree yet…I’m busy establishing a happy home.
Right now, the kids seem happy tho.
I’m anticipating a good morning. I pay a high price to remove sorrow from years of digging graves to be a wholesome family on their favorite day of entertainment.
And their Mama knows I do it for her Ho, Ho Holes!
Ready To Live
I’m ready to live.
As I grab my handle, head to my corner(office), ready to take on the wisdom that escapes people drugging and abusing their mental so they can make a killing over wasted potential.
I see clouds of odor, from bodies needing more love than they know how to provide and mental fog, from years of surviving the swamp.
I’m ready to die because I feel stuck. Wishing I didn’t give a …. Knowing it would make my life steady. Positive selfishness elevates people to the top percent. I’ll that high over an infestation of ignorance.
I rattle with anger and headaches because my dreams and ambition seem stranger than repeat offenders taking every turn away from the right decision.
Since I’m awake, I can’t count on greed for real change. Something in me says I gotta be better. Too many times I’ve felt worse trying to seduce life, betting her my sex and lies would make it all right.
How many days do you feel like you’re the user, working yourself to exhaustion to return to the trap because it relieves confusion?
I’m ready to live.
Being old and wise don’t pay-off the doubt enough for the wife and kids to keep the house and love tidy.
Ways & Woes
When you feel trapped at work, do you find a different path to escape or do dirt to force an end to your suffering?
Those are the choices most rely on in all relationships.
Dirt stains. But a different path helps you change a soiled life.
Wooooooow!
When your kids start thinking drugs and alcohol might be cool. Teach them that aging healthy is the drug that never gets old. That’s what they really want anyway-to escape youth, without being too old to seem or have fun.
Sit’em down and let’em have that taste.
Everyone needs to know the feeling of a life wasted. They already think they know the pool of despair- full of worries and cares for nothing that will matter after their trends end.
Life without health feels like addiction. And I don’t care what drugs are legal, no parent or child wants to care for a user and abuser.
Think on It
Fatherhood requires a selfishness everyone won't understand and ain't built for- because the self-less-ness it comes with feels like a whore's trap. A-lot of days you feel fucked and stuck, picking up the peace after your family keeps giving it up.
Wake & Bake.
Rough day yesterday!
A better night-because I allowed the love for & from my family decide how we spend the rest of our time.
Starting the day off good because that’s what I need to return the good energy spent on me!
To all the Father’s wondering “HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?”
My advice is Just don’t pull out!
Dead Beat
Image from Across The Spiderverse
Is it ever ok to be a deadbeat dad when your kids gotta eat?
You have to beat excuses dead.
Take the risk you’ve been beating yourself up for not taking and blaming your family- as the chain holding you back when they’re really holding you together.
Beat yourself up a little more about your own mistakes. Scrape away the fake ego. Instead of studying anger, study someone who consistently regains control-of themselves.
That’s the beating you have to understand so you can overcome being a Dead Beat
To all the Fathers wondering “HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?”
My advice is Just Don’t Pull Out!
TROUBLED MAN
Trembling.
Crumblin.
Can’t fold under the troubles of a man.
What do you do when life feels better in your head when you break your golden rule.
You’ve been against lashing out at family because relationships bleed more pain than you have time to recover.
All you want is quiet, peaceful love but your son refuses to learn any lessons from mistakes and labels consequences as an enemy that holds him under the fire of failure. The way he shoots off at the mouth, makes you think he wears the crown and vest of success, but the reality is his discipline leaves him un-polished, so his view is tainted. Fortunately, responsibility and discipline are all he’s missing. Unfortunately, these are some of the most crucial for a young man to live beyond his teens. You know because you held yours hostage by any means.
He sees the rules of the father as bullying, and children hate bullies. Everyone hates bullies. Bullies hate their own lives. So much they do everything in their power to tear it apart- from having a place in any others. Every second of life feels like a lonely night. Walking in weather that whispers hellish memories and makes you wonder how fast your blood would wash away. How fast your body would decay and if anyone else would miss you and your pain. You want them to feel it and face it without you because you don’t want to be reminded of your trouble. Some is cool, which is also how you played your high school days.
Went from braids to a cut so sharp, you were slicing through hearts and draws. leaving heads spinning like the waves on yours. You grew up loved but feeling hurt, so you kept yourself ready and willing to return it-confused because you believed love was always supposed to feel good. You never imagined you could love a child so much it hurts. Damn son. If you only knew.
Your daughter celebrated a birthday of her first official adult age. She’s been trying to act it for so long it drove her crazy.
She reminds you of how serious you were. Everyone thought you were crazy because you didn’t agree to their version of sense. But the sense you made didn’t pay enough to make you popular-but you were cool to those you thought mattered, until you graduated and realized adults only care about celebrities and gangsters that are untouchable. You were neither, so finding your way sent you deeper into the in-sane realm of learning about yourself.
When you’re lost and raising others to find their way, every direction leads to being blamed and blaming yourself.
Your daughter smokes weed now for anxiety. You were raised with addicts and never dreamed of raising your own. Now your son is itching to find out how it feels. Sure, they say weed is natural, but when your little girl looks like she’s gained weight consuming a life she wants to escape, you drop hints for to work out. She’s a feminist and reminds you that you raised her to know and believe she’s responsible for her own body. You let her know to lay off the body shaming smoke because being in shape is better for mental health than any drug that has or will ever be created or sold, and if anybody wanted to be overweight, the world might be a happier place.
You also don’t talk to her when she smokes, because although she’s grown, and will always be your little angel, you're not the kind of father who will ever be comfortable with your kids on any drugs. And you’re from the beautiful world of ghetto wonders, woes, and magic, where success and addiction never withdrawal from a consistent habit.
Your youngest son told you he was only average and became emotional when asked what made him that. He said people who aren’t average are smart. You wanted to massage his brain and heart and stop your own because you’re responsible for these thoughts,
Although you instill in them the greatness, knowledge and wonderful belief that positive thoughts, attitude, and actions along with consistent discipline give you the capability and belief of creating the life we want like God.
Then you realized you’re basically creating a trap house. Similar to the crack house of your youth. The only difference is the family’s stuck watching the blood and smoke of youtubers instead of pipes and needles. You know the feeling of wanting something different, but you feel so attached to an instant escape from what you tell yourself is a present prison you make more effort to stay the same. So you keep someone and something else to blame.
Gotta do something different.
It’s time for a Troubled Man to end it.
Pain heals different when you face it. You stop suffering.
To all the Father’s wondering ‘HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?”
My advice is “Just don’t pull out!”
TRUST
Trust everyone to do what's best for them and concoct ways to believe it doesn't affect you.
Trust people to choose the easy way because they ignore the hardships facing them.
Trust…
For a teenager is not being reminded to do their homework, chores, or routines they know introduces a future so bright they choose to hold on habits that hold them back—sometimes.
Trust is asking them, is there anything you feel like I should know? This is better than grilling them with questions they probably won’t answer to your satisfaction. Because you think you have the perfect question to confuse them, and you believe confusion proves you right.
Teenagers are always confused by adult questions just like adults are confused by teenage-mostly everything.
Trust one man's hang nail is just as important as your cancer, diabetes sudden death of a parent sibling or child from an overdose or driver under the influence of selfishness and greed. Fuck those fat purposely ignorant retards.
Lord. hear my prayer that they along with their family’s suffers
You can't send the driver or the dealer to hell so you have to keep a special place in your heat and find outlets when it swells.
The Fall
Don’t fall for easy money.
Don’t fall for easy pussy.
Don’t fall for easy work.
Don’t fall for the illusion of an easy life. You have to make the hard choices to fall towards success and reach it, if that’s the life you want.
Don’t fall for easy relationships.
Also don’t fall for challenging relationships.
If you have to work so hard to make other people happy or respect you that you are exhausted and don’t have time for yourself-you’re getting fucked out of your money, pussy, relationships, sanity, success, and being true to yourself.
Fuck that!!!
ANOTHER TIME
Another day.
Another life to make great.
Another time to love.
Another great life to provide.
Another smile too.
Another time to remember you made it through all the other times you didn't think you could.
It's time to believe that you can make it at all times, All the time.
To all the Fathers wondering "HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?"
My advice is Just don't pull out!
Mistakes! Misstakes Mr. 2 far
Image from Pinterest.
Miss-takes the statement personally.
Maybe I’m Mr. Take it too far.
While discussing jeans and pants for short people with the most special woman in my life, she said they don’t make jeans for short people.
I said that means (WE!) need to lose weight because the bigger the waist the longer the pant length. I said (I) go through the same thing.
Ohhh Laawd!
That’s who I felt like calling after a good time, quickly turned into nightmare in the jean isle.
“I don’t say things like that to you.” “I don’t call you fat”
“I didn’t call you fat, I said what’s true, I said WE!
“You hurt my feelings. It’s ok that I feel that.”
I’m sorry your feeling were hurt. And yes it’s ok you feel that”
As I sat there thinking. Not as much as I want you to feel this dick and these balls slapping against those, lips, thighs and ass.
As I sat there knowing instead, she will be reading smut books with some chiseled jawed, six pack having model on the cover, with more attention than she gives me, my concerns, my problems, or ways I try to solve my own and ours.
Is this how couples grow old and apart?
Why do fantasies of escape hold people more solid than the reality of staying down for their dreams.
I learned not to fake. It always hurts when its real. I can be a little more gentle, but my hardness is what appealed you out those pants. Will my mistakes keep me out of them?
To all the Father’s wondering “HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?”
My advice is Just Don’t Pull Out!
HOT HEAD
Image from Pinterest
Somethings burning.
The rage of project buildings riddled with agony. Like chipped tooth ghetto kids with acne, smiling with their eyes because its weak to show teeth. Unless your wolfin, ready to sink into something.
Fired up like Baldwin. Raised in gladiator school like Toussaint, Malcolm and Martin. When you deal with someone Native to respect, you gotta protect yours. Don't get holed up as a way to see clear.
You ever feel like the earth is against you and somehow your escape melts when you get close?
You ever think about the soul?
The old gods said it was life's force separated from the body at death. But what happens when you’re alive and feel you don't have any left?
Burning questions for a grown man who needs answers. Or do I want them to fill the desires of my childish spirit. My lady doesn't want me to always be her old man… You know what I’m sayin!
Tryna make me question AM I Motherfucking enough! I burn hot all year even outside her volcano. (Dad joke alert)
Something’s burning!
Being confident and wrong is a signal that makes people want to let you smoke.
Hold up before we put love down. I got your motherfucker. I couldn’t swear in front mines, or my father made me holler for her.
I miss them both, but when I cry, I only call for one of them.
Whoooo!!! Those tears are fucking hot.
It burns up that I can’t bring my loved ones back.
I used to wonder if God tuned on me. I sent up every signal and felt they were ignored.
Just in case you wonder why I’m always mad.
Choose Wisely
We all pick and choose who and what to listen to. The ignorant ones are loudest because they make trouble look cool.
The preferred voice tells them to struggle hard, to father themselves and gain wisdom from a school ruled by law breakers. They know 2 wrongs don’t make it right but take the right to ruin a life and live on dead ends.
A NORMAL ADDICT
Art From Deavita.net
I’ve caused and seen death and misfortune.
My own. Love. Parents burying children.
The trauma from that is worse than going to the other side and having to come back from Heaven and Hell-escaping the erratic pleasure and pain of this world.
I’ve been holding on for so long, I feel like I can’t grip freedom. Control feels like a substance used to escape.
They say Normies aint addicts- until they fight to keep bad habits, making and allowing wrong moves for loves abuse. Turning turmoil solid, to avoid sinking to depths where pain echos and speaks true horrors.
They say addiction is a disease, but every day we choose multiple drugs and remedies. We all have the plug for improvement. That’s the only type of user a father should be.
Look into your families’ eyes and ask, “How am I gonna live and create a good life today?”
To all the Fathers wondering “HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS?”
My advice is Just Don’t Pull Out!
OLD TIMES
“Little Hip Hop” by Frank Morrison
For the sake of holding on to my dreams. I’m reminiscing like Mary, Pete Rock, and C.L. smoothing out wrinkles of good memories. Giving myself more time to be held in hearts of ones I love.
Bad ones I wish I would’ve followed my instincts to get away from. I’m sorry was the shit I never said enough. Now that taste won’t let me get it off my tongue.
When you see me shake my head, I’m regretting never killing that evil side before it breathed negativity. Now I think of wishes as a moment of silence at a birthday party-trying to hold on to happy endings.
Young nostalgia. Young greatness. When Black meant family, cookouts, music, dancing, that relative getting a little too tipsy and running of at the lip. Back flipping on mattresses before flipping left bodies inactive. Before playing with rocks went from seeing how far we could skip to the other side of the water change to watching how far fiends got before they sunk and refused to go any further.
I miss my Brothers and Sisters, they were my Blood cousins and friends. I grew up with Love so thick we couldn’t be separated by housing differences. We crossed towns, hoods and streets to enter and leave blues. Never knew the importance of Bro I love you, until we grew up and had kids of our own. Learned late that’s how men save each other, lives and homes.
Learning finances at 40 showed me I went to the hardest school of psychology. Banking on risking our lives. Connecting riches and respect to the most hustlers with the most chicks.
I tell my kids, to avoid what their recent ancestors did. My OG told me he regretted chasing money. Once he lost them, he realized his riches and wealth were tied to his family.
To all the Father’s wondering “HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THIS!”
My advice is Just Don’t Pull Out.
WILD PITCH
Image from Pinterest
How many strikes does it take before you hit?
Here’s how you get picked.
Grab the bat. The balls the hat. Get into position. Warm up, show your good form. Allow a belief you have skill that can be polished with hard work.
Home Stretch!
Listen, be attentive, use the information, then swing hard, round and touch the bases. Fill her mind with your knowledge skill and prowess in a game where power is the attraction.
Home Run!
Fill her flower with your seed. She's got the best box seat. Now you've got a fan, coming back to your stadium, under bright watchful eyes admiring and needing your performance.