Ahhh, got you open!
You break, so I take one too, cracking legs, smelling the rush of a heart about to be broken. I plug loves openings.
(Excerpt from my upcoming book “The Wonders”
Take A Minute & Breathe.
What’s in your lungs huh.
You say the air we breathe can’t be the same. There was a time I believed you cause of how you behave. But I let you tell me what you know. We’re going the same way and your energy tells how far we have to go.
Am I the only one who finds it crazy we can share a home and fight to keep from getting close?
Pardon me for staring and my ignorance. It helps me find a way through it.
I wish you could see what you’re showing. Lungs pumping the same blood. Body moving like it’s seeking intimacy. Thoughts roaming to find more than a few seconds of love.
The Madness
If you are mad at the truth, you are just mad and need more help than a lie can provide.
Whole
I can’t.
That can't be how it starts. But wait, let me finish, how does that even make sense.
What I meant to say was This whole I feel, I'm not sure where or how it began.
How can my strongest muscle feel empty? I'm alive, so how can I feel lifeless. My words, and thoughts, and beliefs, drowned. Muzzled and choked. Silenced, and killed, by humorous rage. Filling with harm I swore not to pass on.
How else do I remove it.
I see a whole target. You see too? Or more-- depending on the hole you're trying to create. What are you filling yours with. Or will it remain empty?
That's foolish talk coming out now. It never remains the way we leave it. Filled with neglect some call love. They say one strangers help can hurt the other.
Who are they? Me. I just made that up. I think. I believe that. There is no one to tell me any different. And if there was, I don't have to listen. I know what keeps me whole. I’ll empty when I'm ready. When I see something worth filling.
Mind Made Up
I travel around my thoughts until I find myself.
I see something I believe is better and get lost.
I regain my composure when I start to think for myself again. I stay level because I’m aware of the doubt I carry to crack my foundation.
I fill the gaps through understanding that I am the one who will make me into all I want to become.
Not Too Close
Close
I thought we would always be… Closer than hands with lotion, guiding me to the right direction. Now I’m tilted drunk from the way you left me.
Close
You were the only one that could have me throwing it up. closing my eyes, wishing for the same feeling to hurry and end my suffering. Pleasure has to be reached so we know what we want to experience.
Close
like the fire under your nose. tickling tears watching your future rip. Off like a slippery pedal, bloodied cause what you squirt splatters. Flatlining, the last kiss for the brother on his deathbed.
Close enough to feel you granted his wish.
When a broken heart feels like a pulled muscle. An attack you can’t hide or run from. In and out of love. Enemies seeking peace. Cold or hot you’re served as meat.
GO OFF
Empty the clip jamming negativity.
The spark made me see. Flashes of different men I could be.
Full circle as a traffic light reflecting on images. Under sun or stars, shading determines the type of cover needed.
Same as when clouds cry, then part for a suns comfort. Rays show faces eclipsed with happiness and rage.
Why do women loved being fucked from men like we’ve been caged. Then when we unleash, they want us put away like we’re the nightmare interrupting their fairytale.
NOTE
—The shading I’m talking about are shadows that could be friends or enemies rolling up in their cars, walking or lurking.
—The clouds crying then parting for a suns comfort also refers to women crying then opening up for somebody’s son, which continues on to being fucked from men like they’ve been caged.
Masturbation
If a man says his head hurts. What do you think?
A) He needs to stop masturbating.
B) He needs to stop watching porn.
.
Only The Good
Kids might think they’ve grown passed asking for help, but they never want to feel like their being helped less.
Kicking Shit.
I walk with a limp cause I’m trying to avoid shit I been kicking since I learned my tongue could spit and my hands could make you eat it.
Some people say I’m ignorant, but I do it on purpose and they do it without thinking.
I Lean on myself, so my steps disrupt and sound like moans to anyone wanting a different outcome.
FREAKIN CAT
A black cat crossed my path, and I tried to run it over. Luck is mine to control. I’m Black and I’m the coolest cat I know. If your offended and say you’re a cat lover, me too PUSSY. If you say you’re an animal lover that means you must love me too.
Wish-Master
What do I want
A bunch of bad women to grant my every wish.
A bunch of thorough men to handle the dirty business.
Everyone to wake up loyal but not remember the hell they protected me from.
People to remember more good than bad.
People to have my mindset.
I want what tortures, so I can brag about surviving and become relatable.
I want to live knowing that thriving is what makes me irreplaceable.
Stop the Bloodclaatt whining
Do you know the best part of healing? It’s when know you recovered and not give a fuck about the old weak suffocating feelings.
We all go through shit. Clean up and get the fuck away from it.
Gassed
I got my fill. I have a long trip ahead of me and the road I’ve been on took me to a-lot of places I couldn't remain happy in. Where I stayed longer than I shoulda.
I guess I wanted to feel what it would be like in different skin. But when I pulled out the only color that changed was emotions.
I got High on attention. I left a-lot of people fuming. I made every right turn a dead end, convinced I was worth the wait
How long—long enough to desire more.
How much time— enough to make it right.
How many times—so many I can't believe my lies.
Where do I go now—away, but never far enough to stay.
Home calls me back. The bones I buried leaves bodies falling like tears from an affair I saw coming but allowed, and let the itchy, tingly feeling mark and form a trail.
Bored and seeking entertainment. That was the advertisement. Where we entered was tainted and tainted us.
The more damaged you are the more you seek. It’s just too much fun to brag about being broken and in recovery. Head & ears buzzing, like the phone vibrating with pleasure meant for one, but ain't nobody single in the house you live in.
You know how we got here, we lost the fear, of losing each other. Comfort makes beauty positively ugly- mind and body. That's why we change after our sure thing ends. But we still dig that pocket that kept us stuck and in the dark.
We are supposed to pull each other up and gas each other to go further.
Dark-Immortal
Skin. Grave. Eyes.
Glimpse beyond light. Seek the lie, the deception. It’s erotic. Allows me to give raw love, to beautiful women. If they were with a beautiful man, I make love hatefully.
They love me angrily. it’s controlling. When I am tired of their body, exhausted from destruction. They will mind me and seek my lie.
I poke around in their dark. An immortal life.
The BIG Muscle.
I hugged myself. I felt my muscle. I felt my girth. When I let go, I showed and made them feel my worth.